Friday, June 8, 2018

Unfortunately, Suicides Happens When No One Is Watching

When I was 14 years old, I attempted suicide. I was living with my aunt and uncle at the time.  You see, my mother worked an evening shift at Children’s Hospital - 3:00 PM to 11:00 PM.  So when I got home from school, she would already be at work.  I had one sister and one brother younger than me.  The three of us were home evenings, eating TV dinners and watching TV and doing our homework. (Well, not my brother because he was about 6 years old at the time.)  My boyfriend would come and visit me and we sat outside my apartment every evening. Kissing was all we did.  I WAS 14 YEARS OLD.  LOLOL


My mother found out and shipped me off to live with my aunt and uncle. Same city just a different zip code.  They were so hard-ass about everything.  I could not talk on the phone.  I could not see my friends.  I had to clean the house every weekend, this was a pretty big house (vacuum, dishes, mop and wax the kitchen floor, clean the bathroom, polish the silverware. (who does that?)  And, when they left the house, they would remove the speaker from the phone.  Yes, it was a rotary phone and you could unscrew the handset and remove the speaker gadget thingy J  So when the phone rang, I could only hear the person on the other end but they couldn’t hear me.  Damn, at 14 years old with no friends, no outing, just two religious fanatics, and an ailing grandmother, it was lonely as heck. BTW, my grandmother was everything.  When she died many years later, it was like my world ended.

One day, my cousin who was the same age as me, asked me if I would like to go to Disneyland with her mom (my aunt) and my aunt’s boyfriend.  I told her that she had to ask my aunt.  My aunt said No.  That was it for me!  I couldn’t even go out with my aunt and cousin. And to Disneyland… Who says No to allowing a 14 year old to go to Disneyland with an adult that you know and it would not cost a penny because my other aunt would pay for everything? 

As most elderly's do, my grandmother had a drawer full of pills.  I looked through her drawer and found a bottle of sleeping pills. 

By the way, I was an A to A+ student throughout my school years.  I was smarter than most of my friends. I read everything I could.  Always!  I did my homework and studied. Always!  I remember, I just recalled everything and anything said around me.  The adults around me knew this, so they would always ask me to leave the room when they wanted to chat.

I took the bottle of pills to my room, wrote letters to my mom, my aunt and I don’t remember who else.  I also called my mom on the phone.  She didn’t know at the time that I was calling to say goodbye.  One of my uncles was visiting, so I asked to speak with him.  I spoke to everyone who was at my mom’s. 

My aunt and uncle were out, probably at a Jehovah’s Witness meeting.  So it was just me and my grandmother at home. 

I emptied the bottle of pills on the desk. After signing each letter, I took a pill.  I may have taken about 8 of those sleeping pills.  I got dressed and decided to walk to my boyfriend’s home. (Oh, I must say that this was a new boyfriend.  He was about 8 years older than me.)  I didn’t know where he lived but I knew the area.  I would walk until I found it.

I remember a car driving up to me and my aunt, not the one I lived with, pulled me in the car.  She thought I was drunk.  I don’t remember anything else after that.  The next thing I remember was a doctor forcing a tube down my throat and me throwing up over and over again, and nurses helping to hold me down.  I remember yelling, “Let me die!” over and over again.  My stomach felt raw from throwing up.  My throat felt like I swallowed razor blades. 

I remember waking up in the hospital and my aunt helping me to get dressed.  I had to go and talk to a psychiatrist so that he could find out why I tried to kill myself.  The doctor’s office seemed so big.  You could easily roller skate all around that office.  The doctor spoke to both me and my aunt at the same time.  I don’t remember wondering why wasn’t my mother there, but she wasn’t.  I didn’t say anything because I didn’t want my aunt to feel bad about me not wanting to live with her.  I didn’t want her to know how much I hated her.  Of course, that was teenage angst.  I don't hate my aunt nor my now-deceased uncle.  

The doctor sent me home and my aunt sent me back to my mother. 

Nothing was ever mentioned about my suicide attempt by anyone in my family.  I was never taken back to see a doctor.  Life went on as usual.  I went back to school continued with my A+ grades. 

I think, had it not been for that incident, I would have become a journalist.  I loved writing so much and I was good at it.  But that incident moved my life into a new direction.

Today, someone commented on a social media post that depression and suicides usually begins around the age of 21 years old.  No comment!  I just don’t know where she got that information.  Anyone can become depressed for a variety of reasons at any age.  Young people commit suicides more often than most will admit or know of. 

People also throw around phone numbers believing that a person who is feeling so depressed and sad and unworthy and useless and not wanting to see the next sunrise will pick up a phone and call a national suicide hotline.  I can assure you that when you’re in that moment of despair, making a phone call to someone who will ask you a bunch of questions is not what you’re looking for.  What would help would be to have someone there in your face, talking to you, slapping you or whatever it takes to get you through the next hour or two. 

Unfortunately, suicides happens when no one is around.

But for good measure, here is the phone number for suicide prevention. National Suicide Prevention Lifeline: 1-800-273-8255 (TALK) and a website that you can read https://www.speakingofsuicide.com/resources.  If you have suicidal thoughts, call this number or visit the website. Don’t wait!  If you wait, it will be too late. 

Remember… Think of the people around who loves you and whom you love.  Think about tomorrow’s sunrise.  Plan to get up at the crack of dawn and going outside and looking at the beauty of the sky so early in the morning when almost no one is up; just you and the beautiful sky and the sun rising up to signal a new day!  If you make plans, you will want to live to complete those plans.

I am fine now.  I’ve only experienced that type of darkness one other time.  And I convinced myself that I wanted to see the next sunrise.  I also have kids and grandkids and because I never want to see them sad, I would never do something, anything that would cause them sadness.


©2018 Radiance Smith (aka Radiance Lite)


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